Culinary Delights

As a woman, I've always believed that I had a pretty hideous relationship with food. I eat crap, and I snack and, to be quite honest, I don't go near the fruit bowl and salad draw nearly as often as I should. When I was eating my lunch today though, I had a revelation; it's not food I have an unhealthy relationship with, it's meals. 
I eat pretty healthily as a general rule of thumb. I don't like snacking. I drink water and squash and juice over fizzy drinks as much as I can. I reckon I get three square meals a day 4/5 times a week. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I have perfect eating habits, I really don't (as I am sure this is going to expose in a minute) but I really don't think I have the worst diet in the Universe ever. I guess I'm a fairly bog-standard eater.
Anyway, my culinary epiphany came as I was sat in my pyjamas - a black vest and bright red pyjamas bottoms covered in pictures of Mickey and Minnie Mouse - eating what I had decided to throw together at about 1pm. Lunch today was: a piece of cod in batter, a poached egg, and spaghetti hoops. Yes, at 20, this seems an appropriate meal in my mind.
To surmise so far: I am 21 in less than three months. I still wear Disney pyjamas. I cannot put together a balanced meal. Considering I am moving to University 4 weeks today, I am fucked.

My issue with food is that once I decide I quite fancy something in particular to eat, I won't really enjoy anything else I eat. That's what happened today. I opened my fridge and saw loads of eggs and thought, "God, I want an egg. How do I want my egg? Not an omelette because I have nothing to put in an omelette. Scrambled? No, that's too much like a fry-up. Poached? Ooooh, yes. I like poached egg. What shall I have with it? I'll go and look in the freezer." I then went to said freezer and saw a box of cod in batter and a very similar thought train about fish went though my head to the one that happened with the egg. I resolved that Cod in batter and poached egg would be fine together. It'd be like gourmet or something. As I was cooking the two items, I decided I was a little more hungry than previously thought so I had better add a third element to my meal. Upon opening the cupboard, my impulsive brain stomach decided on Spaghetti Hoops. 

Yes, you read right, I said brain stomach. I basically think I have a section of my brain that over-rides my logic when it comes to food and wants to torment my stomach in the most awful ways. Yes - my lunch has made me feel incredibly ill. 

I wish that my odd meals stopped there though. On Sunday I had home made Sweet & Sour Chicken, and a tortilla wrap. Maybe as people, when we say we have a bad relationship with food we need to stop and think; is it food? Or is it meals? Am I simply incapable of putting a proper meal together? I know for a fact that I need to stop being insanely lazy when it comes to meals and just eat properly.

AFTER THOUGHT - I think a lot of people's problem with food is timing. When people look in all their cupboards, and fridge and freezer and declare "THERE IS NOTHING HERE TO EAT" perhaps they really mean, there is nothing here that I can make quickly enough to satisfy my hunger so I simply won't bother. Or is that just me also?

The New Dress.

As 90% of the population are probably aware, 'fetish wear' is the new big thing in the fashion world. Leather, spikes, collars; you name it, people are wearing it. I'm unsure exactly how it happened but you cannot currently walk into a shop without seeing random metal spikes, or leather sleeves, on garments. Alarmingly, it works. There is something so right about what essentially, probably shouldn't look good.
I'm not usually one to buy into fashion trends. I hate buying clothes because I have a ridiculous body shape so nothing looks good on me. (I am not attributing anything to the fact that I worked in a school last year and there was an endless supply of cakes, and biscuits, and the fact that I possibly put on weight.) I have however recently purchased a new dress. It is black, just above the knee, cap sleeves with slight shoulder pads, and spikes. The shoulders of this dress are covered in metal spikes that are about one centimetre tall. I do believe that the buying of this dress was largely down to a coincidence of timing. Less than a week before I added to my wardrobe, my boyfriend broke up with me. I am not saying that I only liked the dress because my boyfriend broke me, but there was something incredibly appealing about a dress that had the potential to hurt people. When you are feeling hurt, you want nothing more than to hurt others.
I think it would be really interesting to ask all the women you will see wandering around with metal spikes sticking out if the idea that their outfit could hurt people appeals to them in any way. I think a lot of them would probably say, yes. There is something wholly satisfying about wearing your aggression and spite on the outside, without looking like a thug. Maybe even to ask these  people about the circumstances of their purchase. Even if it was something small that caused them to have a bad day, it would be interesting to see if there was anything that perhaps made them want to own something that essentially says "Fuck off. I'm dangerous." Admittedly, a spikey shoulder isn't going to do much damage. As my friend Stan told me the other day, If you want to wear spikes to stop people [men] coming near you, they need to be on your crotch. Makes a woman wander, how long until we see women walking around with metal spiked covering their privates.