If you know me at all, then you will probably have heard me say this at least once in the last few months. I know that people are getting a tad bit fed up of it too. The fact is though, I am still at little bit in shock at this diagnosis. I am so surprised that I have managed to be in the education system for as long as I have (essentially 17 years of my life) without them picking up that I had an issue. Not only am I Dyspraxic, but I also have Scotopic Sensitivity and I am borderline Dyslexic.
A lot of people have been telling me not to worry, that I have obviously been fine the last however many years as I did well at school, reasonably well at college, and got myself into University. This is all true. All I can think though is... how well could I have done? No wonder I struggled with a sewing machine when I was doing A-Level textiles. I now understand why I struggle to make notes in lectures and classes if I struggle with changing the range of focus of my eyes, and if I have issues with processing and storing information.
In addition, it explains my incredibly hateful relationship with Physical Education at school. I always despised PE, and that is no exaggeration. I would do anything and everything to get out of a lesson. The idea of having to run around, and try to catch things, or throw things, or hit things, made me feel sick. Being the last one picked. Being laughed at. Being asked "Why do you even try?" or "God, you're not on my team, are you?". As you can imagine these do not fill a 15 year old girl full of confidence. Particularly so when said girl was perpetually given a hard time about one thing of another. My PE teachers gave me my own group at school, the "PE Special"; I was clapped when I managed to hit the tennis ball with the racket. I would very much like to go into my old Secondary School now, and present this medical diagnosis now, and see how they feel.
It has made me more aware now about the way that I go about certain tasks. I know that I can't attempt to do too many tasks at once because my brain is literally unable to cope with this. I know that I need to schedule myself more time for tasks that are more physical. I know that something that seems as simple as taking the old bin bag out the bin, is a little more tricky for me. I now understand why I struggle with household chores. So yes, I may retort to a comment you make about my prowess at my attempting to do something with "But, I'm Dyspraxic" and you may well be sick to the teeth of hearing me say it, but I'm not going to stop. I am on a journey of trying to work out what this means to me, and how it is effecting my life, and how I am going to approach certain tasks. This is new, and kinda scary, so I would very much appreciate your patience whilst bumping into walls, and furniture, and dropping things, and not knowing my left and right.
